My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
