yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
