i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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