...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
