Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you still have your period?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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