it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
this hospital has no fireball
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
