You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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