doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we have officially lost it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
