my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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