we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
