I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
