oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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