I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
