I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
