Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
