He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
