M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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