Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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