Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
