I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
