remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Porn is love you can see.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pants are for mortals
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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