Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
