Three words: puerto rican gang bang
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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