K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
