I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Small penises have feelings too.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
