yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
