i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Randomize
