whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he quoted the bible to break up with me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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