Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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