Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
