I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
