i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
