One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
