these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
