I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
foreskin is a definite game changer
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
