Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
