batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Vodka?
Forever.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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