did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
