The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
