"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
