K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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