Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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