we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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