opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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