After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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