so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
