K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
