Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
