is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize