stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
