Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
